Why is Change so Challenging?
We are at the halfway point of 2019 and I bet 80% of the New Year’s resolutions that were made, went to the wayside. I know mine did! I had visions of having so many clients, so much money in my account AND losing 50 pounds. If change were easy, we’d all be wealthy, fit, and happy. It’s frustrating when you know what you want to do, but you can’t get yourself to do it consistently. If the new behavior would obviously be of benefit, why isn’t that change easy to make?
Change is challenging for several reasons:
I am always looking for ways to get outside of my comfort zone. You know the one – stay in the house, binge watch Netflix or just surf social media. It’s so much easier to just sit and do this than it is to try something new - something that brings excitement, lessons, new skills and passion to my life.
Life is too short to just stand on the sidelines and let it pass me by. That is one of the reasons I walked away from a 17-year career with the federal government and moved over 3500 miles away from the only life I had ever known – I wanted to try something new. I wanted to build my own business.
Life is not a spectator sport, yet many of us treat it as such. I want to be where the action is. I want to make every moment in my life count. The only way I can do this – get out of the house and just go for the scary new adventure. Delving into totally unfamiliar territories expands my limits. In the...
I revel in the diversity of ideas available to me. While I am confident in my values and beliefs, I enjoy thinking critically about them to ensure that they continue to serve me. Therefore, I cultivate new perspectives each day.
Others are a great source of inspiration for me, even if their beliefs vary widely from mine. Therefore, I choose to affiliate with a wide variety of people.
I cherish opportunities to learn, which only come when I am confronted with new ideas. Examining fresh perspectives can bring new nuggets of wisdom which enrich my life. So I always look at new ideas as possibilities.
If I feel that my perspective is better for me than the one portrayed by a discussion partner, I am polite and considerate anyway. Having differences of opinion is part of our life experiences as unique individuals.
I entertain all new perspectives, however briefly, so I know that my decisions are sound for me.
Today, I intentionally seek opportunities to learn about new...
Would you love to have more focus in life?
We all admire some people’s ability to concentrate, whether they’re training for the Olympics or solving a great societal problem. These folks with great focus have discovered something very important: If you're focused on a goal, you have an easier time getting where you’re going.
But can you really create focus just by willing yourself to have it? Or is this trait a secondary characteristic of something else?
It’s All About Passion
Broken down to essentials, caring about something is the foundation of focus. After all, the more passion you have about something, the easier it is for you to pay attention to it. Focusing on something that holds no meaning to you can be very challenging.
If you look at anything spectacular that you've ever done, it probably involved something that you cared about very deeply. This isn't just a coincidence. Focus isn't about discipline; it's about passion.
Notice the people you know who...
Do you have the ability to accept the things you can change and the things you cannot change? Do you have the ability to accept that other people are apt to change them, rather than you changing them? Do you accept that you are who you are, regardless of what others think? Can you accept the many changes that take place in your life?
If you answered yes to one or all of these questions then you are off to the start of improving your personal life.
When you can accept things in life, you find a way to take control. When you are in control, you improve your personal life. When you learn to accept - you learn to discover yourself.
Individuality is personal. Many people in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have established our identity. That is politically incorrect! We are in control of our emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and action - each and every day, despite what is happening around us.
Let's face it - we live in a world that...
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. ~ Albert Einstein
I love that quote! Change is that scary word that most people shy away from. I don’t want to change. Why should I change? Why doesn’t everyone else change to accommodate me? If I change, then I will be out of my comfort zone. Why change something that isn’t broken?
Change. Asking someone to change is like expecting the sun to not rise. Isn’t it a pointless request? Change comes from within. Change is something we do with ourselves. Only we can control us, no one else. So why ask, expect, anticipate, anything from someone else?
Let’s focus on how to change us. First why would anyone want to change themselves? Is it because they don’t like the outcome? Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you really want to change their mind about something? You try so hard to...
The change of the season at this time of the year usually means ”out with the old and in with the new.” How many times do we root around the shed, attic, basement or garage and tell ourselves that we need to get rid of whatever is in there because it hasn’t seen the light of day in years - but hang on to it anyways because - well, it might come in handy someday!
I gotta tell you - someday is here. Find a home for that old bicycle, Christmas Tree decorations, dishes, clothes, televisions, books, etc. There is someone out there that could really use what is just sitting there collecting dust, cobwebs and other critters!
I recently emptied the contents of a 5x8 storage unit of things I had stored a year ago when I had a major life changing experience that caused me to downsize my home (I will tell you that story - one day). I finally accepted that I was wasting money on storage fees for things that would be better served in someone else’s hands....
Has anyone ever challenged your thinking? My thinking has been challenged by five important people in this world over the course of the last few days while in Orlando, Florida. One of the most profound challenges was asking myself WHY. Why am I afraid to take action on things that are a must for my current life situation? Why is it important for me to care what others think about me? Why do I insist on allowing myself to be treated in an unprofessional manner in the workplace? Why do I want to empower others? Do you ask yourself these questions? I bet you do or have at some point in your life.
Instead of spending time on those silly FaceBook challenges and quizzes, take time to focus on challenging your thinking with these questions (and the ones above):
So many people wish life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles but without challenges, life becomes stagnant and we stop growing. Challenges help us uncover who we are and it allows us to become better people.
Let’s examine a very simple 4-step method to overcoming challenges.
First, state the problem clearly. When we are faced with challenges, we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way burying our heads in the sand hoping it goes away. Or we may say – ok, there is an obstacle, instead of heading right to it and plowing through, I am going to look for another path and even though that is not the way I want to go – it looks easier… less headache… but rarely does that work out. When we avoid or go out of our way, we cause more headache in the end. It takes more of our time, it takes more of our energy and we don’t get the end result we are looking for. So take this time to understand what the challenge is. Ask yourself what is the...
Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long. A few behaviors are instinctual and built in while the rest are learned through meeting needs. What this means is that our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met.
So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex.
There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something. When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback. When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback. This is pretty simple. We understand that when we eat something sweet, most...